The Littlest Butterfly

I see a butterfly before me. She is small and delicate. The curves of her wings are gentle and smooth, as if carved by the gentlest hands of deepest love. The design upon them is bold yet, easily overlooked. Her inner treasure may not be noticed at first glance, but each moment spent gazing upon her unearths depths of the purest beauty. The movement of her wings is slow and graceful, as if each gentle pump is focused and life-giving. Like breath they move in perfect synchrony, a reminder that life must be lived one moment at a time. She perches upon her place on this earth, her existence silent, yet deafening to all blessed enough to receive the miracle of beholding her. Around her, danger swirls and those who love her long to protect her. Her delicate body is no match for the darkness of a fallen world. Yet still she rests upon her flower, fighting the wind and rain, radiating beauty and moving through each day in the rhythm of life. As time goes on, her body becomes worn; her gentle wings are frazzled and worn. Her tiny antenna are bent up and kinked, yet her beauty increases the longer she fights. And then one day, her wings move more slowly and come to a stop. For an instant, the world holds tight its breath, praying that this precious butterfly will remain near. But suddenly, with such little warning, she takes off into flight, flitting through the darkened sky. I cry out and reach for her, grabbing to bring her close. But I am not big enough, nor strong enough to combat that which is taking place. Higher she goes until almost out of sight. I sink to my knees, defeat weighing heavy. I realize I've lost her and all that is beauty. I raise my head slowly, begging for one final glimpse. Instead of the darkness I believe I will see, I see something much greater than all I hoped could be. My breath stops suddenly at the sight I behold. A presence of love, of grace precious as gold, is holding this butterfly and carrying her upward. I watch and I watch until she's finally out of sight. I let the tears come, I let my heart break. But as I gaze up to the place where she finally flew, my heart finds its hope and joy anew. The same hands that hold this tiniest butterfly, are wrapped around me, promising comfort and love. She's out of my reach, but so close to my heart. For my Father, Beloved, True Love, and King, is holding us both and His is the glory.

Happy 1st birthday, sweet Ellianna. One year ago today I saw you for the first time in your very first photo. No tube or wire could mask your beauty, for in your precious face I saw the signature of the Artist with an immaculate style. One year later, I look back on a journey with many miles yet to travel--a journey of defeat and triumph, sorrow and joy. I miss you so very much. Each and every day I walk not in a shadow of your death, but in the light of your life and all it is teaching me. I thank God for you and I love you so very much. See you soon.

Love, Aunt Mimi

A Letter From Santa

Dear People of the world,

It's me, Santa, the fat guy in red.
It's time you hear something that must be said.
First and foremost, sad as it may be,
Its time I tell you I'm a fantasy.
You wouldn't know it

from all the talk
Of how I come and fill the socks.

Although it's an honor to be such a figure

There is someone whose honor is bigger.
Have you forgotten the one who was born?
Who came and saved a world forlorn?
You say it is I who sees and knows all
But what about HIM who died for your fall?
He was born on that night because of you
He came to the Earth to show what is true.
Instead of imagining my travel in a sleigh,
Imagine how God was a baby that day.
Imagine the pain of a young and scared mother
As the contractions began, one after another
Imagine Joesph holding the young mother's hand
As he quickly is forced to become a man.
Think of Mary's tears when exhausted she lay
Holding the most precious baby who was born on the hay.
Picture this family shivering in the night
Knowing God is on Earth, what a glorious sight.
Think of the glory the shepherds beheld
As by the singing of Angels they were joyfully compelled.
Can you picture the wiseman as they traveled afar,
Seeking the King by following a star?
Be amazed as you picture the God of all,
As a helpless infant, precious and small.
The next time you see a baby's tiny hands and toes
Think of how Jesus, our King, once had those.
Perhaps as you imagine the night Christmas began
You will see why I shouldn't be the number one man.
It's not about me, a man dressed in red
It's not about stockings and early to bed.
Instead we remember when He came to save,
The way that he lived, and all that he gave
You spend money, decorate, and stress-out all the more
When maybe you should remember those who are poor
The birth of Jesus was the humblest gift of all
So why do we remember by running to the mall?
Perhaps it's time to take a new street
to give less presents, more presence, and see who you meet
Forget about me, I really won't be offended
If instead this Christmas you live as He intended.

Love, Santa

Picture from: www.johnsonnewz.blogspot.com

Heart Keeper

The other day, I was having a rare, terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day. I had reached the point of feeling so discouraged I felt rather worthless. A dear friend of mine gave me a gift card and sent me to a local coffee shop for a date with Jesus. At first I didn't even know what to say to Him. Our communication line felt so clogged with the lies I was believing. I told Him all I could do was listen. I desperately pleaded for Him to tell me what I needed to hear. Beyond that, I had no words. As I sat, two words kept coming to my mind. "Soul Keeper...Soul Keeper...Soul Keeper." Not finding these words very helpful, I continued to beg God to reach out to me, to reveal to me what was happening inside of me! But again: "Soul keeper....soul keeper...soul keeper." After moments of sitting there, I began to understand. Who had I been allowing to be the keeper of not just my soul, but my heart, and my worth? Everyone BUT God. I was letting my friends be the keepers of my heart and soul, and so I would compare myself to them and fall short as a friend and Chrsitian. I would let the girls on my floor be the keepers of my heart and soul, and again, I would fall short, this time as an RA. Again and I again I could think of people I was allowing to be my keeper, people OTHER than my Heavenly Father. This realization was so simple, so freeing. In the moments that followed, I wrote this poem.

Heart Keeper

My heart is longing for a keeper

One who knows, yet loves me deeper

He would not be your average joe

But would protect me and watch me grow

He would not woo with empty words

But through his love I’d be assured

He’d never say ‘you’re not good enough’

But hold me gently when the way is tough

He would not focus on my outer shell

But glimpse my heart and know all is well

When the key to my heart he’s been granted to hold

He will know he’s beholding beauty untold

He would never lead me from the path to stray

But in safety and purity help me to stay

He wouldn’t choose my sin to ignore

But confront me in truth, my freedom to soar

A tear of mine he would not look past

But he’d hear my heartache and hold me fast

Could there be one who does exist?

Could my own Beloved be in my midst?

The search is painful, lonely, and dark

This sinful world has left its mark.

I could give my heart to all who ask

But then I’d be desolate, my pain to mask.

My heart has finally found its keeper

The One whose love is stronger and deeper

I’ll never know why I choose to feel

Unwanted, unloved, my beauty concealed

For He knows my value, beauty and worth,

It was by His hand my life was brought forth

This Keeper does not hide behind His pride

But in utmost humility, He suffered and died

He never asks me to perform

The mistakes I make He never does scorn

Instead He lifts me from the shame

Whispers ‘I love you’ and calls me by name

He does not ask that I try to repay

But simply that Him, I trust and obey

All along He has carried me through

And I find to Him all my praise is due.

I search and search when all along

He is the One whose love is my song

To Him alone I do fully give

Not just my soul, but the life I do live.

He is the lover who holds my heart

Whose known me and claimed me from the very start

With sweet delight over me He sings

As I’m being transformed by the King of Kings

He alone is worthy to possess

The key to my all, for I’m His princess.

He's enthralled by my beauty, no matter the day

For He sees my heart and made it that way

Heart keeper of mine, it’s you I do choose

And for You alone, my life I do lose.

Hold me, keep me, with me dance and sway

For my heart is Yours and this I do pray

My selfishness, pride, and self-glory to fall

For it’s all about You, I’m truly so small.

All glory to You, Precious Father and King

May my life be a selfless offering

Image from: http://www.graphicshunt.com

The Dance of a Lifetime: In Verse

The room is large, the lighting dim,

With all my might, I try not to see Him.

His hand it beckons, His voice it calls,

I cannot go, I’ll lose it all.

I stand alone, I cannot feel,

The fear it comes, my breath to steal.

I gaze afar, I see Him still,

I can’t help wonder, does He know my will?

This call for help, this cry for love,

This weight of the world I can’t be rid of.

I’m desperate, I’m broken, I’m all but done,

Yet this captivating love song, I can’t outrun.

I hear it growing louder yet, Slowly so slowly I turn to see.

Still in the middle my Savior stands, calling, calling out to me.

“Dance with me my precious one

Come and find that your search is done.

I love you more than you’ll ever know,

Take my hand, my love I’ll show.

My delight is yours, I cherish you.

My strength is enough to get you through.

To the music of my love, I’ll spin you about,

Stop trying to earn, just breathe in and then out.

Look into my eyes and see who I am,

The greatest sacrifice, the purest lamb.

For you I died, for you I rose.

With the whitest of dresses, you I do clothe.

The purest of brides through me you become,

Remember, beloved, what I rescued you from.”

My eyes I do lift, with Him they do fill.

Could you, Sweet Jesus, want me still?

I want to know your embrace and light,

But trust won't come without a fight.

I take a step and then one more,

And then I move across the floor.

Soon before you I do stand,

I then reach out and take your hand.

Your arms they hold me oh so tight,

I raise my head with all my might.

My breath escapes in one quick gasp,

Your gentle scarred hand I instantly grasp.

The love in those eyes is beyond all compare,

I’m so very unworthy it feels almost unfair.

That thought trickles away as you fill my gaze,

My heart overflows with the greatest of praise.

In one sudden movement you whisk me away,

To the song of all songs we spin and we sway.

This music declares how much you did give,

As the melody plays, I finally do live.

Try as I may I can’t look away,

From this King of all Kings who brought me His way.

Distractions do waltz to my left and my right,

But the love of my Jesus is too great a sight.

I’m lost in the care of this Savior of mine,

As His delight fills my heart our wills do align.

More temptation around me does sway,

But I'm dancing with Jesus, and I can't look away.

Picture from: http://yaadein.files.wordpress.com/2008/01/dancing_girl_silhouette.jpg?