Heart Keeper

The other day, I was having a rare, terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day. I had reached the point of feeling so discouraged I felt rather worthless. A dear friend of mine gave me a gift card and sent me to a local coffee shop for a date with Jesus. At first I didn't even know what to say to Him. Our communication line felt so clogged with the lies I was believing. I told Him all I could do was listen. I desperately pleaded for Him to tell me what I needed to hear. Beyond that, I had no words. As I sat, two words kept coming to my mind. "Soul Keeper...Soul Keeper...Soul Keeper." Not finding these words very helpful, I continued to beg God to reach out to me, to reveal to me what was happening inside of me! But again: "Soul keeper....soul keeper...soul keeper." After moments of sitting there, I began to understand. Who had I been allowing to be the keeper of not just my soul, but my heart, and my worth? Everyone BUT God. I was letting my friends be the keepers of my heart and soul, and so I would compare myself to them and fall short as a friend and Chrsitian. I would let the girls on my floor be the keepers of my heart and soul, and again, I would fall short, this time as an RA. Again and I again I could think of people I was allowing to be my keeper, people OTHER than my Heavenly Father. This realization was so simple, so freeing. In the moments that followed, I wrote this poem.

Heart Keeper

My heart is longing for a keeper

One who knows, yet loves me deeper

He would not be your average joe

But would protect me and watch me grow

He would not woo with empty words

But through his love I’d be assured

He’d never say ‘you’re not good enough’

But hold me gently when the way is tough

He would not focus on my outer shell

But glimpse my heart and know all is well

When the key to my heart he’s been granted to hold

He will know he’s beholding beauty untold

He would never lead me from the path to stray

But in safety and purity help me to stay

He wouldn’t choose my sin to ignore

But confront me in truth, my freedom to soar

A tear of mine he would not look past

But he’d hear my heartache and hold me fast

Could there be one who does exist?

Could my own Beloved be in my midst?

The search is painful, lonely, and dark

This sinful world has left its mark.

I could give my heart to all who ask

But then I’d be desolate, my pain to mask.

My heart has finally found its keeper

The One whose love is stronger and deeper

I’ll never know why I choose to feel

Unwanted, unloved, my beauty concealed

For He knows my value, beauty and worth,

It was by His hand my life was brought forth

This Keeper does not hide behind His pride

But in utmost humility, He suffered and died

He never asks me to perform

The mistakes I make He never does scorn

Instead He lifts me from the shame

Whispers ‘I love you’ and calls me by name

He does not ask that I try to repay

But simply that Him, I trust and obey

All along He has carried me through

And I find to Him all my praise is due.

I search and search when all along

He is the One whose love is my song

To Him alone I do fully give

Not just my soul, but the life I do live.

He is the lover who holds my heart

Whose known me and claimed me from the very start

With sweet delight over me He sings

As I’m being transformed by the King of Kings

He alone is worthy to possess

The key to my all, for I’m His princess.

He's enthralled by my beauty, no matter the day

For He sees my heart and made it that way

Heart keeper of mine, it’s you I do choose

And for You alone, my life I do lose.

Hold me, keep me, with me dance and sway

For my heart is Yours and this I do pray

My selfishness, pride, and self-glory to fall

For it’s all about You, I’m truly so small.

All glory to You, Precious Father and King

May my life be a selfless offering

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