Dear Husband...

Two years ago, I began writing letters to my future husband. I had heard of someone else doing this and figured it would be a good outlet for my explosive desire for a man. At first, I wrote fairly frequently. But as time marched on, I realized that I was writing to my non-existent husband nearly as much as I would journal or write to God. Rather than helping me control my desire for the future, my 'husband journal' was fueling my desire as it became an outpouring of my impatience. When I realized this, I stopped writing all together for a while and then slowly began writing again, though very rarely. As I look back through these letters, they put into words the heart of a girl who has felt alone, overcome by desire for the future, and unable to be beautiful and cherished until paired with an earthly man. Although the letters often contained phrases such as "But God's timing is perfect and I will wait patiently," they were written more out of an obligation than a true trust in God's hand on my life. The last several months, God has been doing so much work in me. He is renewing my mind and rewriting my heart. Today, I wrote my future husband for the first time in a long while. It wasn't until I was signing my name at the end of the letter that I realized how different this letter was from the others. Rather than telling my husband how desperately I wanted to know who he was, I told him how peaceful I am. Rather than crying out because I want him to be here to make me beautiful, I was able to tell him that I AM beautiful and look forward to the day when I can share that beauty....CHRIST's beauty....with one special man. This letter spoke of God's faithfulness rather than my own impatience. This change happened so quietly, so unseen...but it did not go unnoticed. My heart is brimming with so much peace. Not peace because I know the truth in my head, but peace because the truth is consuming my heart from the inside out. God is so faithful! How could I want anything more that what my Father is doing at this very moment? If I skip a single moment, a single joy, a single hurt, I would be ripping holes in His precious painting. I am resting in His providence while running in His will, I am finding His peace while searching in His heart, and I am falling in love with my true beloved while standing tall on His promises each and every day. Do I still fail? Oh yes! Far too often to count. But I am learning to ooo and aaa over the Artist's work rather than grabbing His hand in desperation, attempting to make the painting turn out how I want it to. Day by day, miracle by miracle,tear by tear, joy by joy, I watch my Father painting something more beautiful than my simple mind can ever comprehend!

Picture from: http://dailyblogma.com

A Letter to Men

Dearest Christian Brothers-
As a sister in Christ, my heart longs to encourage you as men. I look around and see a culture drowning in dark deception. My heart breaks as I see our culture brimming with women who have no idea what it means to live in the beauty of Godly womanhood. So many women are caught up in the idea that they have something to prove to men--that because we have different roles and abilities than men, women are somehow inferior and must fight their way to the top. Obviously, this is an issue that must be tackled in the hearts of women. But what we so often fail to acknowledge is the fact that the corruption of womanhood is deeply affecting you as men. The more women try to prove themselves, the more you are robbed. You are robbed of your role as pursuer; the role of Godly leadership is snatched from you. I recognize how deeply you are being dishonored and I want to take the time to show gratitude for who God has created you to be. Your longing for honor and respect is deep and Godly. We as women often do a terrible job of meeting this vital need and desire of yours, but that doesn't make it any less important. Please, cling to your honor! We may act like it is unimpressive, but in all honestly, it is a heart of integrity and honor that Godly women find incredibly attractive. Also, bring on the cheese! We may seem unimpressed with "old fashioned" romance, but I truly believe that the majority of the time, it is flowers, spontaneous picnics, door-holding, and all those other gentlemen-ly deeds that make us feel treasured. We as women want to be cherished, protected, fought for, made to feel beautiful. When you compliment us and we brush it off or accuse you of lying, don't allow yourself to be discouraged! Satan is very talented at using low self-worth to darken the hearts of women. That combined with a society which is polluted by false compliments of beauty given by men who toss women aside as soon as they have received their share of pleasure has created women whose hearts are fragile and reluctant to accept praise. Don't give up. No matter what women may say or how we may push you aside, we badly need to hear we are beautiful and desired. As long as your words are consistently accompanied by actions, eventually your faithfulness will become known. Also, women in our society are failing immensely at protecting the purity of our brothers. I cannot pretend to understand the intensity of your struggle because I do not have the mind of a man. However, I do know that women wearing too little or too tight of clothing offers no assistance in your battle for purity. Yes, you as are expected to guard your hearts and minds in Christ. But I also believe that women are called to protect the purity of our brothers dress and act with modesty and discretion. My heart aches as I see the filth you must guard aganist daily. Whether it is on TV, the internet, billboards, magazines, you name it, the world around us makes your battle for purity just that--a battle. I can't imagine how difficult it is to daily be caught off guard by the sexual content that plagues our society. But I beg of you, never let it stop catching you off guard. Don't grow to be ok with the images and words that surround us. Continue to let your head turn the other way when passing a sign with an immodestly dressed women. When possible, run from the situations that will cause you weaken in your fight for purity. Don't be afraid to be the man who guards his eyes, his ears, and ultimately, his heart. Each day as you turn from impurity, remember the King who has appointed you as a mighty and pure warrior and remember that beautiful princess of purity that God has called you or will call you to sweep away. Don't allow feminists to water down your manhood. Stand tall, puff out your chest, and for lack of better wording, MAN UP! Know that pride in being a man is ok as long as you are 100% humbled before the One who has called you to be that. Fight not only for your own purity and honor, but that of the sisters around you. This letter is not to put you down for not doing your job, but instead build you up in the recogonition that you are doing your job and should continue to do so. When you are willing to stand up as men, be bold, fight in His strength, and hold open doors for the ladies while you are at it, you are truly being men. My prayer is that your sisters in Christ will also rise up around you to fight for the purity of all, but also find the strength to let you fight for us. I am so sorry that you must push aganist the horrednous cultural opposistion thrown your way, but know that you are fighting heroically on the winning side.

With prayer and a pat on the back,

Micah

The Great Wait...

Something I have been struggling with lately can be especially hard to figure out because I know it is a God-given struggle. When it comes to guy/girl relationships, I will be the first to explain why we are the way we are. God made women with a desire to be loved, cared for, and protected by a man. We want to be able to rest in the arms of an earthly man who loves us and tells us we are beautiful. If the family always worked the way God created it to, it would be much easier to have this need met. We girls would be loved and protected by our daddies until Prince Charming rode in, received our dad's blessing, and took over the role of that man in our lives. In the process, a picture is created of submission and Christ's love for His bride. However, humans have horribly distorted this picture. These days, it feels like it is somewhat of a rarity to find a young girl who is able to be in her daddy's arms until she marries. I cannot imagine the sorrow our King feels when he sees the picture of His relationship with His bride totally destroyed. Instead of families, we have single parenting. Instead of daddy-daughter love and protection, we have girls running into the arms of any man who shows them attention. So many girls are being robbed of the time in daddy's arms. Instead, they are left with a burning desire in their hearts to have the love and protection of a man in their life. Being a child of divorce, these struggles are my struggles. Even though I can give lectures on why I feel the way I do, it doesn't lessen the pain. Thankfully, my relationship with Christ has kept me from running into the arms of the wrong men. God kept me from this even before I had a relationship with him that ruled my life. Another blessing is the fact that God has given me the gift of a restored relationship with my dad. We lost about 11 years of having a strong relationship, but God is the true Healer! Yet, I will again say that the pain is not gone. My dad lives 10 hours away and I have not been able to have what every girl was designed to have. Some days, it is unbearably hard to see so many girls around me resting in the arms of an earthly guy. I think of the comfort and protection they must feel and I long for what they have. I get lonely. I want to know that somebody thinks I'm beautiful or simply that I am good enough for somebody...a man. I feel like I fight daily for my heart, but see the ones giving themselves away being the ones who are rewarded. Thankfully, by the grace of God, I am always able to come back to the Truth. I know that these girls are lacking the only thing that will truly fulfill them. I know that I have the joy and peace of still owning some of the most valuable treasures God has given me--my heart and my purity. When I say purity, I don't just mean physical purity, although that is a very, very valuable treasure. I am also talking about the purity of my heart. Women are much more emotional beings than men are. Every time a woman gets into a deep relationship with a guy, it is like gluing cardboard to cardboard. When they are ripped apart, fibers of each one is left stuck to the other. So many girls think that they can give their heart away but take it back once they want to give it to another man. This is so untrue and so heartbreaking to watch. Someday, I want to stand at the alter with a man who is getting every fiber of my heart. I want him to be the worthy knight who won my heart and now has that entire treasure to himself. Sometimes, guarding my heart feels like missing out on so much: security, "love," assurance, etc. Yet, I am constantly reminded of the great blessing that awaits me and all girls who are willing to save all of themselves for that worthy man. Yes, the wait is painful sometimes. But someday, the reward will far outweigh the pain of waiting. Plus, in the meantime, I will save myself from much heartbreak and distraction. Avoiding a constant stream of temporary dating relationships gives me a chance to depend fully on God to meet every emotional need. It also removes quite a bit of mystery. I don't have to worry about if "he's the one." Instead, I know he isn't the one unless God clearly leads me into a relationship with him. Ah, what an honor and blessing it is to have the King of Kings as the author of my love story. Such great adventures await me!

"When God Writes Your Love Story"

This past weekend, I finished reading the book "When God Writes Your Love Story" by Eric and Leslie Ludy. I must say that it was one of the best books I have EVER read! I have read several books about girl/guy relationships, dating, courtship, etc. However, this book was unlike any I have ever read! It was the first book I have read that had a true guy's perspective! Just while I was reading, I came to respect Eric Ludy so much for telling girls what guys need, AND being able to tell guys what girls need! Leslie also is an amazing writer and shared such wonderful thoughts. Like many girls, I have always had the dream of meeting my Prince Charming and having that happily ever after. As I have grown older, my desires to someday be a Godly wife and mom and have only increased! However, I have felt so stuck lately! I knew that I needed to use my singleness and not just WAIT for the perfect man to walk into my life. My job is to run toward God and He will let Mr. Right catch up. In the last year, I have felt like I didn't know how to do this completely. I was running to God, but also found myself thinking so much about my desire to marry a Godly man. At times I felt guilty for having such a desire, and I would try to distract myself from it. God used the Ludy's book to speak to my heart and tell me that that is a desire HE has given me! I can and NEED to be thinking of my future hubby now! It is NOW that I start loving and honoring that special man--not after I say I do. I am urging EVERYBODY to read this book! For me, it was life-changing! OH! And here is a cool story about how I got the book: My dad gave me a gift certificate for Christmas to a Christian bookstore where he lives. While looking at the MANY books, I prayed that God would help me find ones that would bring me closer to Him. I found the Ludy's book and wondered how God would use it in my life. Now I know! Praise Him! :)