Neveah Jubilee Pederson

When my brother died in 2014, I desired to have his ring that he wore at all times. I was devastated when it was unable to be removed from his finger. For my wedding gift that July, my brother-in-law gave me a ring identical to the one my brother wore and two words had been engraved on the inside: “Heaven Rejoices.” Fast forward to 2016, when Silas and I rejoiced in a newly discovered pregnancy, only to lose the baby soon after. As I wrestled with God in my grief, all I could think was “heaven rejoices.” How is that fair? Why does heaven get to rejoice in the death of those I love? I hate the “God needed another angel in heaven so he took one from earth” mentality.  In those weeks after our miscarriage, the name Neveah Jubilee (Heaven Rejoices) came to me and settled in my heart. Yet, this idea that my God rejoiced in death grew deep bitterness in my heart.

Fast forward again and we found ourselves pregnant with a brand new little life…a baby girl! Silas and I knew from early on that her name would be Nevaeh Jubilee, but we didn’t share with anyone because I felt very unsettled about the name. Throughout the entire pregnancy, I had bleeding off and on that could never be figured out and an eerie feeling that this baby’s life was at risk. We prayed and prayed for protection over this little girl and the darkness that seemed to be relentless in trying to swallow her. Later in the pregnancy, I finally told Silas I wanted us to choose a different name. I felt that naming her “Heaven Rejoices” was like a promise I would have to make good on. I felt like it made this baby destined for short life on earth so that Heaven could rejoice. “No Micah!” Silas said. “Heaven doesn’t rejoice in death. Is that why you have been struggling so much with this? No, heaven rejoices means heaven rejoices in LIFE! When your brother died, God’s heart broke. He is grieved by the brokenness of the world and the darkness and death within. Heaven rejoiced in the LIFE your brother lived…in the testimony of who he is, who he led to Christ, and the eternal life Christ gave him. Heaven Rejoices is a promise of abundant life!” This simple realization changed so much heart and perspective for me.

Around 35 weeks, I began experiencing pre-term labor. Not only does our life not easily lend itself to bedrest, but I found myself utterly restless, sensing the need to have this baby sooner than later. We prayed that she would at least make it to 36 weeks…and she did! In fact, she made it to 37 weeks on the dot. I thought I might be experiencing another bout of labor that wouldn’t progress to anything. At 3:15, I hadn’t progressed hardly at all. But then things picked up quickly. We had plans for a peaceful water birth with a photographer, but instead we arrived at the birth house at 5:03 and had a baby at 5:24…and I didn’t mind a bit! It was shortly after this that we began to discover just how much of a miracle the life of this baby is.

As my placenta was delivered, the midwives became very attentive to it. After a thorough examination, they shared that the state the placenta was in didn’t make sense with the healthy baby we were holding. Instead of the cord being strongly secured to the middle of the placenta, the cord was barely hanging on the edge of the placenta, attached only by a few blood vessels. The cord was short and therefore pulling on the already weakened spot when the baby moved. Half of the placenta was a different color than it should have been, there were large spots of calcification, and parts that were literally just crumbling to pieces. This explained the bleeding I had the entire pregnancy and also meant that one good bump or yank should have meant death for both me and the baby. It didn’t make sense…it didn’t seem compatible with the life we held in our hands. It is utterly ridiculous how close to death my daughter and I were without ever knowing it. Even as it still sinks it, I am in complete awe of God’s orchestration and protection over the life of my little girl and my life as well. Heaven is indeed rejoicing and so are we…in birth, in miraculous works, in LIFE.