-Be a present friend. Foster care is so lonely. Never before have I been in the midst of a season of such isolation. We are finding that friendships and relationships that came so easily before have rapidly faded. Perhaps it is because we do not have as much time to socialize. Perhaps it is because people are intimidated by this ministry and feel they no longer know how to interact with us. Regardless, times of fellowship are few and far between. We also find that when we do socialize, it is sometimes awkward for us, as we sense the tension and fear that people find our children and their struggles overwhelming. I am still Micah. Silas is still Silas. We still love our friends, we still love fellowship, and we need it more than ever. It does look a little different for us these days. But honestly, our schedule can be pretty flexible. We can have people over or we can bring our children to gatherings. One of us can babysit so the other can go out or we can try to find a babysitter so both of us can go out kid-free. Do we have to cancel if a kid is sick or having an issue? Sometimes. But we can reschedule. We can keep trying. This ministry asks us, and those around us, to be a little more flexible, but it is doable. Let’s keep leaning in and making fellowship a priority. I also want to apologize to those who feel that we have been the ones to walk out. In our own loneliness and fear of rejection, we have shyed away from initiating fellowship ourselves, and that has been wrong of us. We long for people to know us, know our story, and know our children for what and who they are. But we also want to know others, their stories, and their hearts. We are foster parents. But we are so much more beyond that. We are still the same people we were, despite the change in some of our perspectives and focuses. So…who wants to come over for a game night?! ;)
-Actually, you ARE called to orphan care. Every person is
not called to adopt or be a foster parent. Every person is not called to daily
work a job that fights for racial equality. Every person is not called to move
across the ocean to translate the Bible into other languages. However, we are
all called to care about that which the heart of God cares about. For Silas and
me, our greatest tangible calling right now is orphan care in the form of being
foster parents. Do we still care about the other issues God cares about and do
what we can within our life to be a part of those? Yes. Likewise, you do not
have to be a foster parent in order to participate in God’s calling to care for
the orphan. Each time a person prays for us, sends an encouraging text, drops
off a box of diapers, or spends some time playing with our children, they
participate in orphan care. Likewise, when we recycle, pray over the racial
issues in our country, or donate to a Bible translator overseas, etc, we participate
in those aspect of God’s heart. Instead of telling a foster parent (or anyone
for that matter) “I could never do what you do,” ask: “How can I help you do
what you do or be an encouragement to you?” Do not believe the lie that you are
not called. Instead, ask God to show you creative ways to pour into the things
that are so close to His heart.
-Lean in far enough to see the beauty beyond the brokenness.
Time and time again, we have been offered caution. We get it. We are a somewhat
newly married couple with a child of our own, health issues, a more than fair
share of trials, etc. Taking on foster care at the time we did (and continuing to
accept placements of children with special needs) probably seems semi-psychotic. But at times, we find ourselves
baffled as people continue to offer remarks of, “Maybe you guys need some time
to live life,” and “You guys really shouldn’t take on anything else/accept new
kids/have more children.” We are baffled because we are SO HAPPY. We LOVE our
life! As we follow God’s leading, He continues to show up in miraculous,
joy-giving ways. Our marriage has grown leaps and bounds. Our son is growing
and thriving and learning compassion and grace. Our other children are growing
and healing and bonding and learning that they are safe and loved. Our days are
full of cuddling and tickling and chasing and reading and praying and singing.
Do we have our battles and hurts? Ohhhhhhhh yes. So much so. Every day. Do we get
beaten down? Absolutely. There is much stress and heartache. But there is so,
so much beauty. It would seem that people often gaze in from the outside and
see the stress and the isolation without looking far enough in to see our
hearts and the hearts of our children. We ask that instead of only offering
caution, you ask questions or ask how you can help with a particular are of
concern. Instead of assuming, ask. We would love to share how God leads us to
make the decisions He does and how He provides along the way. We are also
totally willing to share the areas we are struggling in and ask for wisdom and
advice. We are thankful for the wise words and caution of others. But we
also ask that you trust our hearts. Ask questions. Pray for us. Trust us as we
trust God. Trust us as we strive to make wise decisions for our marriage, our
son, and our foster children.
We are so appreciative of our family and friends who have walked this crazy life with us. We know foster care is a whole new ball game and learning curve for ALL of us! Thank you for your grace. Thank you for every text, meal, box of diapers, mid-morning coffee, date night, and prayer. We are SO thankful for you!
-Micah (and Silas)
-Micah (and Silas)
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