Dear Birth Mom,
Thoughts of you frequent my mind each and every day, but today,
the weight of who you are presses heavy my heart. I am sure you are aware that today
is Mother’s day—a day when millions celebrate mothers as the ones who have
given life, nurture, and love. We celebrate the sacrifice of mamas, their
selflessness, the giving of body and soul to another. Motherhood is beautiful. But
today, I am sure you are also reminded how differently motherhood looks for you
and for me, as both the brokenness and the beauty of our stories is that I am
currently raising the child that you birthed. I cannot begin to understand the
sting of your pain or the ache of your loss as you sit with empty arms on this Mother’s
Day, knowing your child rests in the arms of another. It must be the deepest
kind of grief, perhaps tangled with guilt and aloneness.
My prayer for you is
that your mind would be flooded with the knowledge that your mama heart is held
and loved and seen on this day. You are beautiful. Your child is beautiful. I
live a paradox where I embrace your child as fully my own, and yet look into his
eyes and see you, his mom. I delight in watching her precious personality take
shape, seeing snippets of my influence reflected back, but I also see glimpses
of what I know comes from you, her mom. I have your picture hanging in her room
and we talk about who you are. I tell him that you are doing ok and it’s ok for
him to think of you and miss you and love you. We pray for you. We believe
freedom and hope for you. We cheer for you.
I cannot expect you to easily accept
me as the foster mom of your little one. But may you always know that you were
mom first. You chose life for a precious person and have made a priceless contribution
to the world. You were the first to hold him, you were the first to look into
her eyes, you were the first to feel the gushes of love and the panic of overwhelm
that come as the weight of parenting settles in. You were first. Whether your child
comes back to your home or not, whether we someday raise her together or need
distance, or whether you never see him again, may you be full of the knowledge that
you have not been replaced, but joined. You remain a most important part of
your sweet one’s story.
Your role as birth mom is one that can never be taken
from you or from them. The little ones that fill my home will always know who
was their mama first and they will be shown that you are so valuable and worthy
of love. In the meantime, in your grief and in your sorrow, please know that I
am loving your baby well. She is safe. He is oh so loved. Your precious child is
fought for, believed in, protected, and loved unconditionally. On this Mother’s
Day, we are thinking of you. We are speaking of you, wondering about you,
praying for you, hurting with you, and celebrating YOU. Happy Mother’s Day, from
one mama to another. I see you. I love you.
Love,
Foster Mom
No comments:
Post a Comment