True Love Doesn't Wait

When Ben died, the one belonging of his that I desired to have was a ring he wore that said “True Love Waits.” Ben wore this ring as a symbol of his commitment to remain sexually pure. I too had a ring that I wore for this purpose. This is a hard commitment to make ....but it was a blessing to have a brother to share that commitment with. We had heart to hearts time and time again about our desire to have and be a spouse one day. We talked about potential spouses we were interested in and he often asked my advice on how to be a man that Godly women would take notice of. He never held back from telling me men he did or didn’t 

approve of for me...most of which he didn’t. ;) We even took pictures of our hands with our purity rings together.

That ring of his meant a lot to me...more than I can ever put into words. But on the day of his funeral, I learned I wouldn’t be able to be the keeper of his ring. Instead, it remained on his hand as his casket was closed for the final time and I watched the body of my brother, all I knew of him here on earth, disappear into the ground. My heart broke so hard. On the day of his burial, that ring on his hand is what broke me. For me, it was an image of unfulfilled dreams. A Godly man who had hoped for 28 years to be a husband and father...not out of selfishness, but because he wanted to fully love his wife, his children, and His God. He wanted to break the chains of divorce and Satan’s lies that his own family had experienced. But 

it didn’t happen. It was done...it was over...he was gone. True love had waited...and now that ring still encircled his finger, a reminder of everything that wasn't...never to be exchanged for a ring representing marriage. For weeks, these thoughts tormented me. Some days, they still do. But God is teaching me a different meaning of “True Love Waits.” Some people desperately want to marry and believe in “True Love Waits” so they do just that...they wait. They wait with lacking gratitude. They wait with entitlement, believing they deserve a spouse and they can’t blink or they might overlook who it is supposed to be. They wait...and wait...and wait. And perhaps they do get married one day, but they continue to wait. They wait for marriage to be the magic they dreamed of. They wait for their spouse to measure up. They wait...and wait. But Ben didn't wait. Yes, he had a desire for God’s gift of marriage, but he never stopped running. He ran to serve those around him. He ran to love and heal his family. He ran to become the man God was creating him to be. Ben did not have the disability so many of us do...he wasn't waiting for ideal circumstances, for God to give what Ben demanded. I have no doubt in my mind that Ben would have been an amazing husband and an amazing father. I have no doubt that God could have raised up a generation through Ben that would have seen freedom. And a lot of times, I don’t understand why this isn't what happened. It makes me sad. It makes me angry. I wanted this for Ben. But that is not the story that has been written. Ben saved himself for marriage and that is beautiful. Ben impacted life after life and that is beautiful. Ben never lived his dream of marrying the woman of his dreams. Instead, he met his bridegroom...he stands before God, his stains covered in the grace of Jesus, his heart more full of joy than an earthly marriage could have ever brought him....and that....is beautiful. For Ben, true love didn't wait. It ran to those in need, it served, it grew, it overcame, it carried on. Now, the ring on my finger had been replaced with a new ring...a ring representing my commitment to my husband and my God. It is my hope and prayer that I might live, now as a married woman, as Ben did...may I have a true love that doesn't wait. 

The day before my wedding, my sweet brother in law gave me a precious gift. It is an exact copy of Ben’s ring....and on the inside is an engraving. It simply says: Heaven Rejoices. Heaven DOES rejoice! And I will choose to also. I don’t understand...I hurt...I miss....I long....but I rejoice in the life, legacy, and love of my brother...a true love that never waited.