Mirror, Mirror

I awake on the ground. As my eyes slowly blink awake, I rise to my feet, brushing the hair out of my face and trying to make sense of where I am. From somewhere nearby, I hear a faint cry. This cry is unlike any I have heard before. This cry is calling me to action. As I take a few faltering steps, I am greeted by an image in front of me that comes into focus slowly. It's a girl. This girl seems to be no threat to me. She appears to be well put together. Her face is kind and greets me with a smile. I cannot tell if she is real or simply a figment of my imagination. However, the cry of a hurting heart is still ringing in the distance so I focus my attention on finding the source. I turn slowly to take in my other surroundings and begin my search for the one crying in anguish. There she is again. This time, the girl is still smiling but I see something hiding in her eyes...something so dark and so familiar, I turn quickly away. As I turn, I hear the cry grow louder. I try to look in the direction of the broken wail, but as my head jerks to the right, I see her yet again. This time, her smile has disintegrated into a jealous scowl and I know her eyes whisper the discontentment of comparison as she gazes cynically at those around her. I hear the cry again, laced with unbearable pain and seeming more desperate with every passing moment. I take a step forward and look to my left, seeking the face of this broken soul. But I cry out in frustration when I instead see the girl again. This time, her hair dances on the ground to rhythm of her sobs as she holds her head and weeps. All around her, blessings are blossoming one after the other, but she is far too consumed with the tiny weed of disappointment to breathe in the sweetness of her Creator's goodness. I angrily turn away, frustrated by the blindness of the woman before me. The cries of the stranger's pain are growing louder and I know that it is me they are calling! I must reach them, I must bring them news of healing and salvation! I close my eyes and run several steps before daring to open them again. With every step, the cries grow louder and my head is swimming with the horrendous pain of a breaking heart. I open my eyes and the same selfish girl is before me. All I want is to reach whoever it is who so desperately needs me, but everywhere I turn, this stubborn and insensitive girl blocks my view of the broken. I see her now and she is reaching her hand out to a desperate friend but I am not fooled for I see her heart. Though the grasp of her hand radiates the vibrant beacon of a servant, the darkness of her heart echoes with self-centered whines of seemingly wasted time and energy. A fist of anger clenches my middle as I spin in a frantic circle, seeking escape from the Pharisee before me. But everywhere I turn, I see her! I look up and I see her vanity, I look down and I see her loss of self-control, side-to-side, portraits unfold before me, splattered with her vicious words and failure to love selflessly. In desperation, I sink to the floor. I slap my hands over my ears to shut out her self-centered screeches and my eyes slam shut, guarding themselves from the piercing images of this young woman's self-centered soul. My breath comes and goes so quickly that the world spins. The sound of my pounding heart grows louder with each passing second. Slowly, ever so slowly, the rate of my breathing descends. I allow my arms to sink into my lap. I pause, waiting for the same blaring cries and whiny yelps to wash over me like a hurricane, but much to my relief, my ear drums are greeted by silence. I am not yet ready to open my eyes. With time, my eyelids gently lift. I look up and a voice I know well fills me from the inside out. “My Child, why did you not go to the lost sheep I was calling you to?” “Oh Father I tried!” I gasp. “I really did! But every time I took a step, a horribly selfish girl blocked my way! Surely you saw, Lord! There was no way around her!” His voice is steady and calm,“Dear One, you are the only one here. Do you not know that you are in a hall of mirrors?” “As His words reach my ears, my heart twists and a sob rises from my innermost being. The disgust of my own self-centered wretchedness weighs like a one-ton brick on my shoulder. I slowly nod in shame, knowing that I have failed. “Raise your chin, My child. I knew you before the beginning of time. Did you think I did not know what you were up against? Your earthly heart is plagued with the stench of selfishness. But I have overcome the world! You are not of the world, My Beloved, you are of My Kingdom. You cannot put off your old self without Me, but with Me, all things are possible. Come now, take My hand. Before you, you will find a hammer. The head of the hammer has been carved from the rock of the salvation I have given you. The handle was shaped by My hand, molded from the new life you have in Me. Your name was once on this hammer, but I have covered it with Mine. Rise my child, take this hammer, and do what you will.” So I stood, hammer in hand. I gazed at the mirrors around me for only a split-second before the deafening sound of shattering glass filled what once stood as a hall of mirrors.

Picture from: olystudio.com